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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
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| Time: | 1:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  indifferent. |
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Okay… I’ve been really really down as of late, which is not anything surprising to anyone who’s talked to me or been around me. I don’t know exactly why, but everything as just been getting to me. My uber bitch of a mother who there is no winning with or pleasing, seeing couples being affection has been bugging me for some reason, and then those who come and vent there problems onto me, which I don’t mind, I’m more then happy to listen and help as best I can, and whatever else has just gotten to me. And there is like no one I can exactly turn to… I e-mailed Areku, mainly just to vent something and then she ends up telling me I need to help myself before she can do anything or I won’t have her to turn to, it was time to for me to be a prince. I’m sorry but she must have not been very close for longer then I thought if she could even consider saying that. I listened to her before when she asked what to do, this or that, and I was asking for no more then her to listen or give in return what I give to her, yet I just get it. I’m told by most of my friends that they are there, yet when I finally break, when I finally for once call on them for what they promised… I usually am told to fuck off, in a nicer way of course, but still the same meaning, by most anyway. Sure there only about two or three that I would consider turning to at all yet even those few can’t seem to actually do anything… But yeah… umm that’s all I am going to post.. so whatever, later.
~Thor~
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Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
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I really fucking hate her… I know everyone has problems with parents. But how many 15 year olds have to put up with a half blind, half deaf, sixty year old bitch for a mother. She is like a child, and I really hate that, but unlike a child, she is over 3 times my age, thinks she knows everything and always thinks she’s right. So I talked to her, without her trying to hit me for once. I said she never listens to me, so what dose she do, she turns her hearing-aide off and starts to ignore me, pisses me off I just left the restaurant. I swear, she will end up causing me to go to some asylum, or to kill her myself, and the later sounds soo very, very fucking temping to do.
~Thor~
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I just got back to Chris’s from Toronto and I’m just bleh… drained. But it was an awesome trip, went to see the Eaton’s center... was there nearly everyday, couldn’t stay in the hotel room. The hotel was only a block off of young st. and two blocks off church st., the main gay village area. We went for brunch at the CN tower on Sunday, it was nice, but really bloody expensive, and the view was great, the rotating restaurant, 360, is cool. The parade was awesome… but about the first half wasn’t the best because I was in a place were I could see almost fuck all, and then I went back to the hotel fairly pissed off, a guy about my height, with this big hat kept getting in the way, and if anything interesting was coming down (like the whole damn parade) someone stuck a bloody camcorder in the air to get it on video and it blocked my view. I ended up going back right away and walking further down Young Street and found a place with shorter people and not so crowded so I could actually see the stuff, didn’t really miss anything on it anyhow.
We also went to Niagara Falls, on the way there and on the way back we past through Oakville, where Mike lives, and that, which was fairly amusing. The falls were awesome, and the city is full of shit that just as nothing to do with the falls, which is funny. I got a tone of pictures, and really good ones too according to Chris. One of the pictures I took a pic of this guy looking over the railing thing, his boxer’s were showing, even when standing up so I had to take a picture of it, I always have an impulse to do it and I finally had a camera in my hand. I got a card and a sweater at the gift shop there. I also got a lot of funny looks, then again it’s probably because of the dog tag with eh gay pride flag thingy on it I happened to be wearing, but anyhow… lol.
And I have already got this, this gay pride isn’t pushing your or our sexuality. When you think of it this way, most straights do. Most of the time they, or you or whatever, automatically assume someone is straight. Straights can a lot of the time walk around holding hands, or kissing in public, and besides some who don’t like public affection, they don’t get a second glance, and yet when a same sex couple dose it, they always get second looks, some good yes, but a lot more of them are nasty little glares or look of disgust. And the main things, if they would just let same sex couples get married, give us all the same equal rights, and accept us, we won’t need gay pride. So if any straights that read this and don’t like the idea of gay pride, just know you’re the one’s giving us a need for it. And any who think because we get one, that there should be a straight pride, everyday of the fucking year is straight pride, even during gay pride, the very fact that there are straight people, that they exist, is there pride, so just let us have what little we can get. And if anyone wishes to disagree on any of this, please leave a comment or e-mail me at my yahoo e-mail address. (Nothing is meant to offend, just making a point.)
~Thor~
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I finally got out here, and it’s great, I’m the happiest I’ve been in awhile, and the best part, no mother! The trip here was great, first time on a plane that I can remember and it was great, take off was a blast. I hated landing and part of take off as well… when your ears pop and that…*whimper* it hurt like fucking hell. I had walked by Chris like maybe four or so times at the airport in Ottawa, didn’t even know it was him, but it was and yeah. I finally got here to there place, and holy shit… it’s a fucking gorgeous house. The funeral home is just across the road, it’s really nice place too. I love it here, there are soo many trees, and everything not flat like sask, I mean yeah, there are trees there but no where near as many here, and so many in the city as well… and Ottawa… is fucking huge.
Yesterday I went to go get groceries with John, and then when we got back Chris took me to go see the parliament buildings. The tour was nice, but Chris said it was a horrible one, but the building is cool, I love the architecture of it, gothic architecture is awesome. And I think tomorrow there taking me to go and see the museum of… forgot what it’s called now… but anyhow and one of the art galleries as well. We were suppose to do it today, but Chris had some work to do at the funeral home and a doctor’s appointment that he forgot about, so I’m aloud on the comp here to entertain myself for the day, and we might be going to see a movie later on tonight. I think that is everything.. well that I can think of at the moment, so to anyone who reads this, later.
~Thor~
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For anyone that spends time with me, or likes too, or weren’t to happy about my being away all last summer, well this summer you don’t need to worry about that, I am not going to P.A. at all over the summer. Brian was a fucking ass and I wasn’t in the mood for his bullshit, we got into an argument and ended with Brian flipping out on me. When Jo got mad at him because I might not go there over the summer he didn’t give a shit and was like “What am I suppose to do, I’m not going to kiss his ass.” Fucking idiot..x.x One thing he could have done is said sorry, and fucking meant it. Could stop bugging me so bloody much, keep his mouth shut about things he doesn’t know, and never ever make another Mike comment EVER again… fucking bastard. I had never been so happy to get back to Saskatoon from P.A. So yeah.. the only time I will be gone is for a week or two to go and see Chris.
OPY wasn’t the best in P.A. Julie never showed, two guys came and left because she wasn’t there and I talked with a fairly interesting person there, so yeah. OPY here this week wasn’t the best ether, no one really showed because everyone was out of town on some trip or didn’t show. The day itself wasn’t that bad nor the best, but yeah. I was hoping Mike would be there so I could give him the manga, but he wasn’t there, was out or something like that. So now I have to get off my ass and go to Royal sometime Monday, as well as to Feehan to give Areku the Utena I got her. I was going to get her the queer as folk book that I saw there but when I went to get it, I looked at the cost, 30:00 bucks, so I grabbed the Utena Mange instead, still cost me almost all the money I had, but it was worth getting them the books.
Okay… for some damn reason lately being single has been getting to me. It never really has before, I could normally care less, but that’s not the case lately. I guess it’s just bugging me more because I am ether around or am talking with someone who I wish I was with, that might be one thing. Well.. a few don’t even live in this country… which is annoying. But yeah.. it’s just been like that lately and it’s been bugging me.
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Well to anyone who reads this shit and gives a shit if they heard, yes, I dropped my classes, all of them. I have my reasons for doing so, as my major one, no fucking way I will pass. Another is a month of school left, in which I will more then likely not be there everyday, which makes it much harder for me to think I would come anywhere near passing. I feel like an idiot for doing it, but I had to. Getting yelled at by Mike on Friday didn’t help, but it at lest showed he gives a fuck. And yes, I am going back in the fall, it’s all set up so I can take my mandatory grade ten and eleven classes, so I don’t fall behind everyone else, I hope I won’t anyway. Well I think that is all, so I won’t waist anymore time of anyone reading this, later.
~Thor~
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Alright.. well just made the account like last night I believe, and so here is the first post now. Basically just posting to have one on up on here. Later.
~Thor~
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fallenookami's journal
pissed off.
drained.
hot.